Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts

My husband is a good hearted person. He’s a very good husband and father. We have 2 daughters although one, the oldest one (7) is not his, but he has raised her as his own. Now although he is very good, I can’t help to be paranoid and always checking after him whenever his around the girls specially the oldest. With all the pedophile stuff going around one can never be too sure, at the same time I feel so bad for always checking. Don’t get me wrong he has never done anything for me to ever think this way but I feel very protective about the girls. Specially because the oldest one has a body of a 15 year old one trust me! This is a crazy thought but at the same time I feel like I’m not that crazy since I’m watching over my girls, but also I feel so bad for doubting or corroborating after my husband in such way. Have any of you had that same feeling, am I the only one? Am I wrong?

While rocking my baby on the balcony, I have been imagining dropping her over the edge. Knowing I love her intensely doesn’t change it from popping into my mind.

I see the women who are spread too thin
Whose bodies are so beat
Tired from the aches and pains of today
They try to connect saying they need rest and respect
Putting their lives online for us to connect with
Indeed, we all need a break, but they are breaking the internet with their space
Choosing to inflict their sorrows for personal connection
In need of personal validation
When mothers work tiredly helping one after one
With no breaks and not sitting until we are done
Then the others say they can’t stay awake
Yet we wake up with screaming sons
And daughters who howl beaming songs
Still, we push off rest that cures mental health
No time to sit in the sun for minutes by themselves
Indeed, it takes one to know the other
That by pushing encouraging thoughts only makes others shine darker
And that resilience is praised but giving up is not an option
Confusing to be a mother, I plead caution
From choosing a life of their own
Now when they sit all alone and it’s quiet to just think
Who could I have been if I just wasn’t spread too thin

I am so scared to let my son go anywhere without me. To his grandparents, daycare you name it. I was worried he’d hurt himself badly or be taken by someone and I wasn’t there to help or watch him. I’m constantly in fear he isn’t being watch 24/7 like I do. And I’m so worried to lose him

I had multiple scary thoughts about my child. I’m a new mom and I easily get frustrated. I would think about what if her stroller goes down the hill into the lake (my bf thought I was so messed up in the head). I thought about harming my baby when there’s nonstop cries and my anxiety builds up. I even though about choking my 1 year old baby. These are dark thoughts and I know they’re not mine but of the evil one. I’m really ashamed of even having it in my head because I know I’m a good mother. I cry literally for my baby because I love and am proud to be her mother. These are really scary thoughts and try your best to not think about them, talk to your understanding spouse about it, they will help you through. Better yet pray together and alone. Our dear LORD JESUS will wipe away all these evil thoughts that are not ours. Please stay strong and pray because the enemy will not stop. You all are great mamas. Just remember to breathe and take a moment. You can do it.

My MIL sucks, she finds all the way possible to snatch baby from me, she always asks me to give him my boy even while I am playing with him, as soon as I complete breast feeding she comes & sometimes takes him forcefully from me.I can not come out from this behaviour after 2 months still. I need help

I keep dreaming about my family getting into a car accident and not one of them surviving and they all leave me here alone and I can’t stop dreaming about it and it’s scaring me.

Covid-19 has had us locked in our house since she was born. No visitors, no help and a husband that works. 16 hours a day she’s on my body or near me: sleeping, nursing or sitting and playing with me. 16 hours a day my focus is on her, when dad takes over she screams, which makes it harder for me to distance myself. I feel I can’t say anything to anyone and I should cherish this alone bonding time, but I feel this quarantine would be better alone.

As I stand over him on the changing table, I cup his cheeks and press my forehead to his, imagining holding him like this with his tiny body cold and lifeless in a coffin as I say my last goodbyes. It hurts to breathe. He babbles and I snap back to the present- but what if? I mourn the “what if” a thousand times a day. Some days, I cannot breathe.

Following the birth of my daughter, I had thoughts of throwing her outside when sleep deprived and when she was crying. I felt incredibly bad for these thoughts because it was beyond cruel to think of something like that towards my love but I was pushed to my limits countless times. I reached out to family support because I knew I was depressed and irritable. I am also a mental health provider so I did what I would recommend anyone to do… seek help. You aren’t alone. Almost one year later and she is one happy baby.

I always vision myself throwing him on the floor. Not to hurt him, but just because I’ve had enough of him. Like flicking a bug off your knee.

Terrified of leaving him with my parents/in laws incase he gets abused, shouted at, or fed things he shouldn’t be having. My mum has anger issues/depression, and my mother in law keeps asking if we’ve fed him this and that, or given him juice yet (he’s not even 4 months old)