#speakthesecret
Good Moms Have Scary Thoughts
“This thread is amazing. Needs to be turned into a list and handed out to expecting moms by every ob/gyn. They tell women everything under the sun about what to expect for 9 months; why not this?!”
“I think it’s wonderful you’re making this list for new moms. It would have been reassuring for me to know I was ‘normal'”
“Scary Thoughts” is an expression used to encompass any and all categories of upsetting thinking that can interfere with the well-being of a new mother. Scary thoughts refer to negative, repetitive, unwanted and/or intrusive thoughts or images that can bombard you at any time (Dropping the Baby and Other Scary Thoughts by Kleiman & Wenzel, 2010). Scary thoughts are anxiety-driven, they are extremely COMMON, and most new mothers admit that have, at some time, imagined or worried about harm coming to their babies. The shame of having these thoughts can prevent women from speaking about them. In response to women telling us they feel isolated and ashamed of their thoughts, we asked women to share their scary thoughts in an attempt to help them express these distressing ruminations, so they can get relief and also help other mothers understand how universal this phenomenon is.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Thoughts of suicide are scary, but they are in a different category from anxiety-driven “scary thoughts” to which we refer on this page. If you are having thoughts of suicide, this should always be taken seriously and we urge you to find someone you trust and let them know how you are feeling.
The objective of our #speakthesecret campaign is to obliterate the stigma attached to scary thoughts which are so common in new motherhood.
Our page is an ongoing list of the thoughts that brave women have chosen to share in the hopes of helping women know they are not alone and that having scary thoughts is common during pregnancy and the postpartum period. We will add thoughts as they are submitted.
DISCLAIMER: This list is anonymous. We do not ask for any identifying information and therefore are unable to contact you. You can contact us at any time if you want to modify or delete your submission. We reserve the right to edit or not include a submission if, for any reason, we feel its content is unsuitable for this forum and are not able to respond to individual clinical or medical concerns. We may decide to create a meme from your words which may be (anonymously) posted on various social media platforms.
Please keep in mind that this forum is not a substitute for professional intervention and submitting your scary thought will NOT give you access to treatment. There is no follow-up after you post. If you are worried about the way you feel, we urge you to contact a support person and a qualified healthcare provider. If you need assistance locating a provider who can help you, please email us at support@postpartumstress.com.
My baby was going to die in the middle of the night and I was going to find her in her crib cold and lifeless.
What if someone kidnaps my child and sells her into sex trafficking???
Every news story about an infant or small child brought a “What if….? and an image of that happening to my daughter.
My daughter is going to die at daycare from ___ (insert any number of possibilities).
There was a period where everything seemed dangerous or deadly…driving, grapes, sleep, ledges, kidnapping, stairs, cancer, and so on. It was exhausting.
I had paranoia that my baby couldn’t be around sharp objects..I knew I wasn’t going to hurt her but somehow I thought things such as forks would somehow hurt her..it was awful I remember people holding her and eating with a fork and my anxiety would be through the roof and to others who haven’t had ppd with intrusive thoughts this might sound insane but it seemed completely logical to me at the time…and that’s when I went to a ppd meeting that’s where I was told the difference between intrusive thoughts and psychosis and for once I had an understanding of what was going on…it is hard to put this out there because people can be judgmental by not understanding but I have come to the point in my life I would rather put it all out there and help save one mom so she didn’t feel alone like I did…
Falling down the stairs while carrying my baby & dropping her while walking with her or getting her out of her car seat.
My abuser would find us and hurt/take my children and/or me. The scary intrusive thought/anxiety/ptsd combo was hell.
After I had my second child, I imagined putting them both in my chest freezer so I could get some sleep. That’s when I decided to get on meds.
We were walking one day in the neighborhood. I was convinced he was going to fly out of the stroller into the ditch. I didn’t see how he would get there but I ‘saw’ in my mind him there.
I was convinced I was going to die on one of the water log rides at an amusement park. Not my husband who was riding with me. Just me.
Same day at the amusement park, convinced he would slide out of my arms, wiggle across the Ferris Wheel basket (?) and fall.
If I left our son at any time our bond would be broken and we wouldn’t love each other.
♥ THANK YOU ♥
to all the brave women who continue to disclose their scary thoughts.
Together, we will educate many and help reduce the anxiety and stigma. #speakthesecret