INFORMATION FOR HUSBANDS AND OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS

Understanding PPD
What to Say
What NOT to Say
Things You Should Know About Her Treatment
Emergency Situations

Things You Should Know About Her Treatment

• Good therapy can be expensive. But expensive therapy isn't always good.

• Getting help for your wife has to be the priority here. If you are more worried about how much it costs, she will stay sick longer.

• Her illness is real. She needs treatment.

So, how do you know if her therapist or doctor is good? Ask yourself these questions:

• Did you feel comfortable with this person? (Yes, you should attend a session).

• Does your wife like him/her? (This is more important than you might think. Connecting with this person is half the battle)

• How does your wife feel about her sessions?

• Does she think it's helping?

• Does she feel good about going?

• Does she trust this person and feel comfortable talking?

Try to find someone who works short-term and focuses on the here-and-now, rather than issues from the past. These issues are important, but not necessarily productive at the outset, when we want to manage symptoms.

The cost of treatment is a very real concern. But so is her staying sick, isn't it? Please do not let the financial issues get in the way of her getting the help she needs. There are options. Sliding scales. Insurance plans. Payment schedules. Bringing up your worries about the money can actually sabotage her recovery by making her feel guilty. Be careful how you do that.

Encourage your wife to discuss any financial concerns with her therapist. Contact your insurance company. Depending on your particular plan, find out whether you need a referral from your primary and if so, try to find a therapist who is a provider for your network. If not, find out whether or not they reimburse this particular therapist. Most insurance companies will ask you the therapist's credentials to determine reimbursement. If the therapist is not covered at all, find out what arrangement can be made.

Yes, you should go to a session with her. Some women like their husbands to join them for the first one. Others prefer their husbands wait until a relationship has been established with the therapist. Ask your wife if she'd like you to go with her and when. Then do it.

You are going for a few reasons:

• To show your support;

• To meet her therapist and see who's "taking care" of her;

• To ask questions, to get information, to receive support;

• To provide information to the therapist about your wife, your relationship, relevant history, etc.

PPD becomes a family issue. Do not let your wife carry the load of this illness alone. Supporting her decision to go to therapy is vital for her recovery. Remember, therapy for PPD should be short-term. In therapy terms, this usually means 3-5 months. But she should receive initial relief right away. Depending on the severity of her illness, she should start feeling somewhat better in the first few weeks.